Why Girls Friend Zone Boys?
Before getting into the topic, let’s understand what is “friend-zone”? Well, to put this term simply – Friendzone means a boy loves a girl and that girl doesn’t love him but consider him a friend. Google says: “A situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other”
Why does it happen?
Let’s understand this with a scenario.
You are a boy who started liking a girl in your office or classroom, you go ahead and talk to her and congratulations, she talks back. The conversation goes on, you tell her about a new cafe/restaurant nearby and she agrees to come out with you and explore.
- You crack jokes, she laughs.
- You enjoy her company.
- You love the long conversations with her.
- You add her on social media or WhatsApp and chat with her.
- If she is not online, you wait for her.
- Without even realizing, she has become your habit.
- You think of her while listening to romantic songs, you think of her 24×7 and make her big in your head.
- You start matching your zodiac sign with her.
- You start to stalk her on social media.
- You like all her posts on Social Media or want to do so.
Looks like the start of a perfect relationship, isn’t it? No!
Problem: By doing all these things, in your head, you are already sold to her. You are head over heels for her. You will do anything to keep her close to you to feel the way you do, the feeling of being in “love”.
Now let’s have a look at the same scenario from the girl’s point of view.
A boy from her office or classroom ask her to check out a place nearby, he also offers his company if she doesn’t have anyone to explore that place. She agrees (being friendly) and thinks that the boy is really sweet and helpful. Who doesn’t want a sweet and helpful person around?
While she is exploring the food or place you have recommended, you are cracking jokes and she is enjoying them. She looks at you as a fun person to be around. She agrees to add you on social media because she considers you as a “nice guy” who won’t send her d**k pictures in her DM (Please note: A girl’s social media account is full of weird messages and inappropriate images from boys, and anyone who acts decently is a blessing for girls).
You have been nice to her once, hence while replying you on social media she is being nice to you. She thinks you are caring in nature because you ask her about her lunch, work, or random stuff.
While she is busy with her life and you are still checking her online status. You keep waiting and she keeps living her life the way she used to before having that lunch or dinner with you.
Hold on… by now, you are “nice” and “caring” this is a critical stage where the girl think of you as a friend and you are already in love with her. She thinks you behave similarly around others too BUT only you know, she is special.
How to Get Out of Friend-zone?
Problem: Only you know that she is special and she doesn’t. You don’t even dare to tell her because your activities have already built insecurities in you that she might leave you or maintain a distance. The problem is this fear, gets you into the friend-zone.
What’s the solution?
Before talking about the solution, know your exact situation.
Situation 1: You are being nice to her, she is being nice to you.
Don’t waste time. This is the right time to tell her, that she is more than a friend and you did like to date her. Either it will be Yes or No. Remember, if she says anything rather than YES then it’s a BIG NO.
- “You will find someone better.”
- “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Above two are few examples. Girls often play with words while saying No. Be alert. Either it’s a YES or whatever she says is NO.
Being said that, If she buys some time by saying let’s know each other first because she has never seen you in “that way” before, then it’s cool. Give her some time, stay around her, go out with her, act like you use to, but don’t forget to keep your guards up.
Now at least she knows why you are around her. After a month or so, you can ask her again that what does she think about you and if she still keeps beating around the bush, you know what she is up to. Be ready to either be her boyfriend or just an acquaintance BUT not that “friend zone boy”.
Situation 2: She used to be nice to you, but now she is not.
Girls are pretty good at understanding emotions than boys. If she feels, unintentionally she has given you hints by which YOU think she loves you. She will step back. She will slowly stop talking to you (because if she does that immediately, you might keep asking what happened suddenly, and she might not want to be rude in your face). She might not call you for helping in projects or the work that she used to do (thinking you are her “friend”).
In this situation, the girl has already said NO and she doesn’t want you to take things further. This is an unsaid conversation where you don’t need to put more efforts to talk to her but rather stay back and leave her on her own. Don’t think one day she will realize your love was true and she will come back. Remember, nothing is more than your self-respect. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.
- If you study with her, stay connected like any other person in the classroom.
- If you work with her, do favors only to the extent you would do for any other colleague in the office.
It won’t be easy to do but it will be worth it. You will become an upgraded version soon. Try this for at least 3 months (without stalking her on social media).
Situation 3: You are being so nice that you end up paying all her bills and she is letting you do.
This is a dangerous situation. You were being nice, she was being nice. Initially, you both use to pay the bill equally but slowly you started paying because she started making excuses to go out with you but you being desperate and not able to control your emotions and tries to bribe her by saying, “Don’t worry, I will pay”. AND SHE AGREES.
Here, my friend, you are dead. You know you can be around her, by paying her bills, by doing her work, by doing things which you wouldn’t even think of doing for your childhood friend but still doing it for her. Even after all this, she still calls you her “Friend”.
After a point of time, you know that she knows, you love her and still, she acts like a dumb fox because YOU being “dumb” going out of your way to do favors for her.
How to prevent friend-zone?
It is simple. Stay alert. Everyone is sweet with each other when they meet for the first time. She might look extra sweet if you have already started to like her (in your head) BUT watch her actions after the first meeting. Is it you who always make the plans? Are you always the one who approach her or text her first? How she behaves with you in a group? Do you know about her as much as you tell her about you?
Don’t rely on a male friend who says “Oh boy, look! She is giving you hints”. No, she is not.
Rather ask a female friend, take ideas from her because a girl knows another girl better than anyone else in the classroom or office. That female friend, might just have a look at her body language around you and say whether she is interested in the favors you do for her or if she is actually liking you back.
But wait, you need to have a female friend for that isn’t it?
Aren’t you boys call that being in a “friend zone”? Lol!
Maybe you like female friends but don’t want to be in a friend zone with that girl who YOU consider “hot” or “beautiful”?
Maybe she like male friends (as you boys call it friend zone) but she wants to date that boy she considers “hot” or “handsome”?
What do you think? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.